LuLu's Beating Heart

"Ramadan"

2008-09-01T10:02:00.002+04:00

Ramadan kareem everyone! i wonder y do we say ramadan kareem it wouldnt be ba5eel ya3ny!
wallahy ramadan is the best month of the year! although its the hardest bas its the best! and man ramadan next year is gonna be in august! yaaah 3al 7ar wel halaak! and i cant wait for the 3eeeeeeeeed!!!!! i no its not gonna be the best 3eed bas haykoon 3eed :)

i love u all, and i wish u all khier and happiness, and i wish u the best ramadan ever ;)
kol sana wento tayebeen (we mesh bo5ala)! LOL ;)

some new feelings! "bad ones"

2008-08-28T07:41:00.007+04:00

mmm...

its hard how i see things are changing around me and i cant do anything about it! i wish i was deaf! i wish i wasnt sensitive! i wish i was a 2 year old!

its hard when i hear words that break my heart into pieces from someone who i really love!

its hard when i keep on talking and talking but no one would hear me!

its hard when i cry silently every night before i sleep!

its hard when i keep on asking god to make it easy on me and its still hard as it is!

its hard when i try to show (her) that im better than who she thinks i am, and still, she thinks im the worst!

its hard when i say "i love u" and the answer to that is nothing!

its hard when im feeling really sick and she doesnt even care!

mmm...my stomach is acting weirdly! ive been throwing up! and i cant stand seeing any food! man i never felt this towards food ya3ny! i think its coz im feeling sad!
"and just wanned to say thank u satooty for being there for me, i love u sara"

nemnemnemnemnem!!!

2008-08-17T07:06:00.003+04:00

-->damn this mosquito!!! it bit my hand :( and i got a pimple like a mountain!!!!

-->7adreto luuul (my fish)! is sooooo boring! he doesnt do anything, he just stays there in his bowl! and maaaan he is such a coward!! but i love watching him eating :D

-->and i soooooooooooooooooooooooo wanna get a cat! watch it going up the stairs! aaaaaahhhhh and entering my room and sleep on my bed!!! 2akolha wallahy!

-->i drew a couple of drawings today and guess wat???? i used the color red!! 2a5eeeeran!

-->by the way i always draw an arrow before writing anything on a paper! and i always put my titles in clouds! hehhehhe!

-->aaaannnddd i cant draw or study unless the desk is messy! baaad! i know!

-->and today i've watched a happy tree friends episode on youtube! and i cant stop thinking of it! it was awful! :(

-->and i cant wait till the dark knight comes on dvd SO I CAN WATCH IT OVER AND OVER AGAIN! I JUST LOVE THE JOCKER'S ACTING!

--> aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand have a nighty night everyone! ;) salaaamzzz

...

2008-08-15T08:07:00.006+04:00

hhhhhhhhhhh....

Thank God for everything!

I was crying all day long yesterday, i was feeling stressed and upset!! and all i had to do is just talk to God and ask him for wat i want! and today im feeling happy that i could fly off the ground!

mmm...im just like kids!

anything tiny tiny tiny can break my heart!
and anything simple can make me veeeery happy!
when i get upset, i just slam the door and start crying!

sometimes i feel sooo stupid that im very kind to people! zay 2el hobl!!!
im just kind and sweet to everyone!
and no matter how bad a person can be to me, i'll still forgive them!

i know a lot of people, who can really hate! and really hurt!
but i still know that there is something good in them!

and i pity people who are concerned with the stupidest of matters rather than wat really counts! lol i sound like a grandma! hehhe!

bas wAllahy there are people out there who dont know wat a simple beautiful life we have!

MAAAAN WAT THE HELL am i talkin about?
i just wanna thank my dear God (whom i really love) coz he made me who i am! and thank God i dont regret anything that ive done! and i dont have a black spot on my white clean page!

*hehhehhe... few days ago.. me, sara (me and sara have this thing against insects) and bro were waiting for like 15 mins at the bus stop, and there was this beautiful butterfly that was hanging around us and ONLY us!! i just looked at it and ignored it and then razzelet ba2a! sara and i kept on running away from it and it kept on flying after us lol!! after the bus came belsalaama we were like phewwwwww.... we ran into the bus and guess wat?? the butterfly went in with us :'( lol!
it was just annoying and our hero , a chubby lady, got it outta the bus...*

yalla gotta go! satty just made us dinner! gotta go check it out! mesh 3ayza 2a2olokom 3ala 2el ree7a!! nighty night everyone!!

TSO TSO TSO!

2008-08-14T04:42:00.005+04:00

Love it when my fingers get dirty from drawing..

Warning Sign!!

2008-08-12T09:48:00.004+04:00

A warning sign,
I missed the good part then I realized,
I started looking and the bubble burst.
I started looking for excuses.

Come on in,
I've gotta tell you what a state I'm in,
I've gotta tell you in my loudest tones,
That I started looking for a warning sign.

When the truth is,
I miss you.
Yeah the truth is,
That I miss you so.

RIP Mohamed!!!

2008-08-09T01:01:00.008+04:00

again!!! a friend of mine passed away!! i know him since grade 7!!
i dunno y this is happening!!!
he and ammar were best friends!!! they were really close!!

i cant describe my shock and sadness!!
i cant breathe!

im shocked!! i dunno wat to do!
they were full of life and happiness!
cant believe they r gone!
cant believe they r not here anymore!
cant believe im never ever gonna see them again!

ammar on the 24th of February and mohamed on the 6th of August!
rabena yer7amhom!
:'(

Dad always tells me that life is like a bus; everyone gets down in their different destined stop!
love u daddy!

U GOTTA WATCH IT PEOPLE!

2008-08-05T10:15:00.005+04:00

hey people last week i watched the "THE DARK KNIGHT"!
ooohh myy!! its just a great movie! I LOOOOVED THE JOCKER "Heath Ledger" :( ! he acted reeeaaal good! its one of the best movies i've ever watched!!!
just watch the movie and enjoy it ;)
salaamzzz!

Im happy i was born a muslim!

2008-08-02T05:54:00.003+04:00

I remember those nights when my daddy used to stay up late with me just to teach me how math goes or science! i remember how harsh he used to with me just to get the best outta me!i remember how he used to drop me and pick me up when his time was soo tight! i remember the worried look he used to have whenever i got sick! ill never forget how holds my hand to cross the road!

And mommy! oooohhh!!! i remember the cute look she used to give me whenever she is happy! i remember the kisses she used to give me to encourage me to be the best! i remember the nights she tayed up late to make sure im not feeling bad! i remember the tears on her cheeks whenever i used to get sick! i remember her food (NOOOOOOOOOO.... NO FOOD IS LIKE HERS)!

And now! after eighteen years! they just didnt stop! they are the same! with the same feelings! with the same tenderness! with the same love! and its just the best! im happy i lived all these years just to feel thier love for me! just to stay in this warm home! i love them, i love them always and ill love them forever!

Every year on the 2nd of august a new door opens! that welcomes me in! that makes me closer to God! that makes me closer to meeting him! and i really love God more than anyone! coz i no he loves me too! and coz its so kind of him to make me live in this family! a family who knows who God is and love is and islam is! and last but not least IM HAPPY IM MUSLIM thats God's every year's gift to me!!

....!

2008-07-21T23:17:00.006+04:00

Well I just heard the news today
It seems my life is going to change
I closed my eyes, begin to pray
Then tears of joy stream down my face

With arms wide open
Under the sunlight
Welcome to this place
I'll show you everything
With arms wide open

Arms wide open, Creed

Autumn

2008-07-21T02:40:00.007+04:00

i really love it when i step on dry leaves! i just enjoy the sound of the leaves when they get cracked! i walk on them slooowwwllyyy to enjoy it more and more ^^

i have a confession!

2008-07-20T04:21:00.003+04:00

i miss Abu Dhabi
our balcony
the corniche
my room
my roses
my messy desk

actually everything :(

CHICKEN FILLET:D

2008-07-19T05:13:00.004+04:00

i made chicken fillet for the first time ever! it was yummy! fatetkom ;)
actually i love making food but i HATE washing the dishes! i wod do aaaaanything but washing dishes!
hehhehehehe!

mmm...my brother played some videos about people who talk bad about amr khalid! it really broke my heart! i couldnt believe wat i heard! and i no that when we have to advise someone, we just do it secretly and not infront of everyone!
:-(

mmm...

2008-07-17T01:44:00.005+04:00

yesterday night was fun!
and today is a new rainy day!
salooly left! and ill really miss her! and ill miss our talks before we sleep!

mmm....i have nothing specific to say in this post!

im missing daddy badly! i miss his existence in the house!
i wanna put my head on the palm of his hand and fall asleep!
i miss his smell! and i miss his beard!
i love u sooo much daddy! :'-(

i wanna start drawing again! but i wanna draw with colors!
i got bored of the dull drawings that i used to draw!

i wanna fast tomorrow!
but fajr is at 3:41 am and maghreb is at 8:48 pm! :-(
but khalaas naweet! inshaallah i will!

yalla gtg!

!!

2008-07-15T23:58:00.005+04:00

i just read the first post i wrote :(

i wonder where is he now!
wat is he doin!
how is he feeling!

im feeling really sad rite now!
sometimes i get this feeling that is hard to describe!
i feel that my heart pumps hardly!
i feel that im very weak!
i feel that im all alone!

wat if my soul goes away like his soul did!
am i gonna be ready for the exam!

im feeling soooo sick rite now!
i feel that my body temperature is really high!
my hands are shivering!
my tears are running through my cheeks like flames!

death is always on my mind!
and im not afraid of it elhamdolelah!

i cant believe he is not here anymore!
i feel he is somewhere laughing and playing!

rabena yer7amo!

*i really want my dad to be with us!*

LOVED IT

2008-07-14T08:27:00.006+04:00

today i had the best feeling ever!
-
it was like being sooo free that i could fly!
it was like screaming really loud and let the whole world know that im happy!
it was like owning the whole world!
it was like seeing everyone i love happy!
it was like after wodoo2!
it was like i found my soul mate!
it was like feeling the warmth of the sun on my skin!
it was like smelling my favorite perfume!
it was like lying on my own bed!
it was like listening to my favorite song on the radio!
it was like hugging my teddy bear!
it was like having a hot bath after jogging!
it was like walking in the rain!
it was like my mama's hug!
it was like my dad's smile!
it was like my sara's laugh!
it was like my nour's hands!
it was like my bodi's sparky eyes!
-
really enjoyed it!

P.S. I stole the pic from my sis (6)

PERFUMES AND SHOES :)

2008-07-11T05:29:00.005+04:00

MAAAAN PERFUMES DRIVE ME CRAZY!!!
MMMMMMMMM....like i have a very strong sense of smell 3alafekra!!
i love perfumes! I NO ITS 7ARAM FOR A LADY TO WEAR ON PERFUMES B4 GOIN OUT! BUT YYYYYYYYYYY??

Like "admire" from al rasasy! is the best perfume ive ever had and ill never stop buying it and ill never stop wearing it! mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm when it comes to perfumes khalaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaas i goooo crazy!

and then comes shoes! mmmmmm! shoooooes! i wod do anything 4 shoes!! mmmm...!
and i love converses! i just love any converse i see ;)

u have loonies??

2008-07-09T03:21:00.003+04:00

lol!
today's adventure was to exchange 12 quarters with three loonies for the laundry!
me and sally knocked on every apartment in the second and the third floor...!
man people are weird!
and only three opened!
-
people here get scared to open the door for strangers lol...! "chickens"
but it was fun knockin on peoples' doors hahahha!!
konna zay 2el sha7ateen bezabt!!
-
fel a5er two old people opened their door and they were really old and they gave us the loonies hehhhe!
MAN Y DO MACHINES TAKE ONLY LOONIES AND NOT QUARTERS?? WAT R THE QUARTERS FOR THEN?? (quarters are masakeen)
-
-
**when i was young i thought that each actor/actress used to change his/her voice in every role they make so we dont no that they went on tv b4!!
hehhehe how stupid??
-
**and i used to think that if someone dies he/she will be born in another country!
-
**and i used to think that all the people in the world r originally from Egypt heheheh!

is it hard to be honest!!

2008-07-08T00:27:00.006+04:00

like i find it weird when people lie!!
like y do people lie??
leeeh fe kezb??
-
ya3ny mesh fahma 2ana! it really gets on my nerves when someone lies to me!!
and i really feel it when someone says something thats not true...!
im really sensitive when it comes to lying seriously!
-
its just a bad thing! its actually the worst thing!
coz if someone gets used to it khalaaas he/she will never stop it...!
-
who can lie---> can steal, can kill, can do alot of bad things...
ba7es liars r really weak!! they actually suck men 2el 2a5er!!
-
and i hate it when people bak bite...
y cant everybody say everything honestly infront everyone??
-
gggrrrr lying is just a bad thing!! :@
-
by the way i love the Canadian flag!!

Random ;-)

2008-07-05T01:06:00.005+04:00

*ive been getting this headache... man i sometimes cant move my eyes :(
bas 70 panadolaya beyzabatoony ;-)
-
*my friend luly got me a fish... its red and pink... its a male ;) its beautiful!
-
*im goin to wonderland tomorrow and for sure gonna bungee jump ;) (inshaallah)
-
*and awhile ago i just remembered how my math teacher in high school used to get mad at students and the way he shouts used to make me laugh my *toooot* off!! he never shouted at me though... im good as an angle :P
-
*i miss my daddy's hug :(
-
*i never get bored of the song gallery by mario
-
*i pray for ammar everysingle day!
-
*im not missing abu dhabi (not one bit)
-
*i just realized that no matter how close i get to someone there will still be a wall between me and him/her!! (and that really upsets me)

-
*i feel that bodi (my younger bro) is gonna be a strong good man when he grows up ;)

-
*i just new yesterday that my childhood friend is adopted and im really shocked!!
-
*not a day passes by without me smiling and laughing!
-
*i think that i have the best parents that any one cod have :P
-
*i spend alot of time looking at pictures :)
-
*i feel safe when i say "inshaallah"!
-
*i think toes present a person's personality!
-
*i cant hate!

CANADA DAY...!

2008-07-02T19:28:00.003+04:00

lol yesterday was craaaazzzyyyy....
-
we went to the forest next to our house me, sally and bodi :(
and i got scared and i criiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiied (i usually dont cry when i get scared, i laugh)!!
it was freaaaakyyy but beautiful :( and there were alot of bugs and one got on my face (thats when i cried) and i got a PIMPLE NOWWW!!
-
and yesterday was canada's birthdaaaaay! we had fun 3al 2aa5er wallahy :)
but the weather is really hot here!!
-
I DONT GET NIGHTMARES ANYMORE YAAAAY!!
-
and by the way hells kitchen season 4 is sooo cool!!
-
and i really miss daddddyyyyyy :(

SMILE :-)

2008-06-26T03:46:00.002+04:00

like it gets on my nerves when i smile to someone and i dont get a smile bak LEEEEEEEEEHHHHH???
-
wats easier than a smile... sometimes when i have an eye contact with someone and i smile, they just look at me seriously and then turn around... tayeb smile bak or somethin...
-
and sometimes a smile enters my heart and sometimes i feel its fake!
-
it makes my day when i get a smile... :D

nightmares...

2008-06-18T00:23:00.002+04:00

Im having nightmares every single night for a month now...
i dunno wats up...
this is really annoying and disturbing...
sometimes i wake up and tears are running down my cheeks :(
-
Like i get really bad dreams...
although i always read Qura'an before i sleep...
and the last words i say before sleeping is du3a2 2al nawm...
-
Anyways im finally done...
Handed in all of my drawings today :)
-
And i cant wait till i leave Abu Dhabi...
SOOOON INSHAALLAH ;)
im really excited :)
jumping all day long :)
counting the hours :)

ya rabbbbbyyyyyyyyyyyyy...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-06-15T12:43:00.005+04:00

i still have two final exams...
-
1) Math exam...! (tomorrow)
2) Draw my Teddy bear...! (after tomorrow)
-
2ed300ly...
i still didnt work on my teddy bear... :(
ill work on it tmorrow ba2a..!
-
i wanna finish everything... PACK AND FLY...!
YALLA BA2AAAA!

people make mistakes :-(

2008-06-14T13:20:00.005+04:00

Lol...
yesterday i went to watch a movie (Keda Reda) Mannn its a funny movie... hehhehhe
and i got nachos and ate and got stuffed...
and left some for my little bro... coz i no that he loves it...
-
so on the way bak home...
it was really windy...I was holding the plate... and it had some nachos left and cheese and a very yummy sauce...
when we got under our building safely... and with the corner of my eye i glanced that there's an old man walking behind us and going to his car... and i knew that i wasnt holding the plate firmly... and while imagining how is the plate gonna be blown by the wind... ALL THE FREAKIN NACHOS FLEW ON THAT GUYS FACE...OOOOHH MY GOODNESS... THE GUY HAD THIS SERIOUS LOOK... but the way we laughed made him laugh with us.. and i apologized...and he was ok...
-
u no some people are not forgiving and easy going..
-
once i went to spring (shoe shop) and i wanted the size 39 and i asked a philipino lady... she was like "MA'AM IM NOT A SALESWOMAN" and she gave me a horrible look and her friend too... MAAAAN PEOPLE MAKE MISTAKES!!!
i said "sorry" (looking at her and her friend) and she kept on looking at me till i left the store...
its like i slapped her or something... AND MY SISTA2 SATTA KEPT ON LAUGHING AT ME AND MADE ME FEEL MORE EMBARRASSED ... "thank u sis :-("
-
I MISS MY DADDY :'-(

WHATS HAPPENING TO THE WORLD??

2008-06-12T22:55:00.007+04:00

i dunno y is everything around me changing!!
people are changing...
the way they think... the way they act...
r they aware of wat they're doing??
-
wallahy this is sooo sad :(
its hard to choose a friend...
its hard to keep a secret with someone..
its hard to believe their smiles...
its hard to believe their talks..
its hard to trust them...
-
im really upset...
-
PEOPLE ARE JUST FAKE ALL THE TIME...
AND ITS REALLY HARD FOR THEM TO BE THEMSELVES....
-
i dont feel that i belong here...
i dont belong to this harsh life..
they would do anything to hurt others...
-
rabena yehdy :(

I LOVE GREY'S ANATOMY...!!

2008-06-09T21:27:00.002+04:00

DOES ANYONE KNOW WHERE CAN I GET SEASONS 1 2 AND 3 FROM??

THE HOTNESS

2008-06-09T13:15:00.001+04:00

Y IS IT VERY VERY VERY HOT OUTSIDE???

Y??
Y???
Y????

Y DO I HAVE TO WAIT 4 A CAB EVERY SINGLE DAY IN THE OVEN??

Y??
Y???
Y????

I CANT WAIT TO LEAVE A.D.!!!!

TAG

2008-03-27T11:12:00.003+04:00

Sis tagged me...!

"Post 10 random things about yourself"

"Choose 5 people to tag and a reason you chose each person"

"Leave them each a comment directing them to your blog so they know they are it"

"You can’t tag the person who tagged you"

"As a courtesy to the person who tagged you, please let them know when you have posted"

1) love the color blue..
2)I GET ANNOYED EASILY...
3)i haaaaaaave to laugh when someone is yelling at me..
4)im studying interior design...
5)i hate it when someone orders me to do something...even if the thing i HAVE to do is fun...
6)i have 10 fingers and 10 toes...
7)AGAIN...I LOVE KATCHUP...
8)i think that this tag is boring...
9)im allergic to sesame...
10) i cant sleep in the dark...

people im tagging... (i mean people i stole from my sister's blog... coz i dont have no blogger friends :'( ...)

1) MASS

2) Wonders

3) ranooshitika

4) Silver

5) Dino

:D

2008-03-23T20:03:00.006+04:00

(this is him)

He smiled...
and gave me a card that has two capital drawn "A's" on it...and ran...
~
The first one is how i write it and the second one is how he writes it...
and it was in red and glittered...
~
it was crowded...i couldnt go after him...i knew that he is dying...soon...
~
i ran bak home..."NOUR NOUR...HELP...ammar is dying...plz can u come with me...i wanna rescue him from the monster in the jungle..."
~
"mmm...sorry.. im having lunch...i cant..."
~
"WAT????? IM TELLING U AMMAR IS DYING...AND UR TELLING ME THAT UR BUSY EATING???"
~
"sorry sis i cant..."
~
i ran to the jungle...(i dunno wat jungle... but there was a jungle wallahy)...and then i saw him standing...wearing a purple shirt...and behind him a huge black monster that has a huge mouth that was going to eat him up :( ...i pushed ammar into the water...(lol..i know its weird)...and the monster ran away...
~
AND THENNNN...I OPENED MY EYES...LOOKED AROUND ME...I FOUND MYSELF IN MYYY ROOM...THE SAME ORANGE CURTAINS...AND THE MESSY DESK AND EVERYTHING....I WAS DREAMING PEOPLE...
~
and the weird thing is before i slept last night...i was thinking...i shouldnt be sad that he is gone...coz inshaallah he is in a better place...!!
~
i hope he is...not a day passes by without me praying for him...

"lessan 3asfoor"

2008-03-07T11:45:00.008+04:00

Lastnight...
~
me: maroot zer u go.. taste this...
maroot: thanks but wats this?? (looking at me and my sis)
me: shorbet lesaan 3asfoor
maroot: WAT??????? U WANT me to eat birds tongues
sis: yes...its really yummy....ITS VERY VERY EXPENSIVE...and its rare to find...
maroot: TONGUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE TONGUEEEEEEEEEE... thanks thanks im stuffed...
sis:tayeb ana hanaaady mama... MAMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA and she goes to mama and tells her mama tell maroot that the lesaan 3asfoor is real...
while sara is calling mama...
i tell her: tayeb dooo2y 2el shorba...
and she tastes it and her face goes yellow...
cheeky mama comes: 2eeh ya benty da ta3mo 7elw 2awy tayeb do2y...we 3ala fekra da 3'aaly 2awy...
maroot: shokran shokran ya taunt... im really stuffed...
(me and sara are laughing like crazy in the background)
BABA CAME IN: da ta3moo 7elw 2awy ya bet...
and she was about to cry and puke..and for the first time maroot gets disgusted of us....
we ba3d ma2arfnaaaha 3al 2aa5er...
we told her thats its only lessan 3asfoor by the name not Per Se....lol
awwwww she looked sooo cute....
she tasted it and she liked it...
~
5elset 2el 7adooota 7elwa walla matoota???

~ Rest In Peace Ammar ~

2008-02-25T12:13:00.022+04:00

Number five was his favorite.. He thought he still has time.. Dreamt of his own house & pictured his future wife.. He had the strongest sense of humor ever.. Just looking at him would lift your spirit & bring it out from wherever it was.. He'd shake the bus with his funny imitations & the kids loved him & always wanted to be just like him.. He loved soccer & wished to be one of its stars.. He loved his one & only brother like no other did.. He was & still the only Ammar that I've ever met...
~
He was always the best one to turn to.. He understood me & was there for me, just like my own brother.. He was the young man that any mother would be proud to have...
~
And now he's no longer here.. God willed for him to leave our world & move on to the next.. I ask you all to please please please pray for Ammar & ask Allah to grant him mercy & put him amongst the forgiven ones...
~
The minute his blood stopped flowing in his veins, my world changed.. Forever...
~
This is my wake up call.. I believe it's time now to start a new clean page & ask Allah to forgive my past & keep me remembering His presence...
~
I wonder if he's passed the BIG test.. We sat for a lotta exams together, but nothing like the one he's having now...
~
Rabinna yer7amo...
~
~
~
~
~
~

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~

~
Abdullah (Ammar's brother) & Ammar..
Ammar is on the right side...