some new feelings! "bad ones"

mmm...

its hard how i see things are changing around me and i cant do anything about it! i wish i was deaf! i wish i wasnt sensitive! i wish i was a 2 year old!

its hard when i hear words that break my heart into pieces from someone who i really love!

its hard when i keep on talking and talking but no one would hear me!

its hard when i cry silently every night before i sleep!

its hard when i keep on asking god to make it easy on me and its still hard as it is!

its hard when i try to show (her) that im better than who she thinks i am, and still, she thinks im the worst!

its hard when i say "i love u" and the answer to that is nothing!

its hard when im feeling really sick and she doesnt even care!

mmm...my stomach is acting weirdly! ive been throwing up! and i cant stand seeing any food! man i never felt this towards food ya3ny! i think its coz im feeling sad!
"and just wanned to say thank u satooty for being there for me, i love u sara"

nemnemnemnemnem!!!

-->damn this mosquito!!! it bit my hand :( and i got a pimple like a mountain!!!!

-->7adreto luuul (my fish)! is sooooo boring! he doesnt do anything, he just stays there in his bowl! and maaaan he is such a coward!! but i love watching him eating :D

-->and i soooooooooooooooooooooooo wanna get a cat! watch it going up the stairs! aaaaaahhhhh and entering my room and sleep on my bed!!! 2akolha wallahy!

-->i drew a couple of drawings today and guess wat???? i used the color red!! 2a5eeeeran!

-->by the way i always draw an arrow before writing anything on a paper! and i always put my titles in clouds! hehhehhe!

-->aaaannnddd i cant draw or study unless the desk is messy! baaad! i know!

-->and today i've watched a happy tree friends episode on youtube! and i cant stop thinking of it! it was awful! :(

-->and i cant wait till the dark knight comes on dvd SO I CAN WATCH IT OVER AND OVER AGAIN! I JUST LOVE THE JOCKER'S ACTING!

--> aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand have a nighty night everyone! ;) salaaamzzz

...

hhhhhhhhhhh....

Thank God for everything!

I was crying all day long yesterday, i was feeling stressed and upset!! and all i had to do is just talk to God and ask him for wat i want! and today im feeling happy that i could fly off the ground!

mmm...im just like kids!

anything tiny tiny tiny can break my heart!
and anything simple can make me veeeery happy!
when i get upset, i just slam the door and start crying!

sometimes i feel sooo stupid that im very kind to people! zay 2el hobl!!!
im just kind and sweet to everyone!
and no matter how bad a person can be to me, i'll still forgive them!

i know a lot of people, who can really hate! and really hurt!
but i still know that there is something good in them!

and i pity people who are concerned with the stupidest of matters rather than wat really counts! lol i sound like a grandma! hehhe!

bas wAllahy there are people out there who dont know wat a simple beautiful life we have!

MAAAAN WAT THE HELL am i talkin about?
i just wanna thank my dear God (whom i really love) coz he made me who i am! and thank God i dont regret anything that ive done! and i dont have a black spot on my white clean page!

*hehhehhe... few days ago.. me, sara (me and sara have this thing against insects) and bro were waiting for like 15 mins at the bus stop, and there was this beautiful butterfly that was hanging around us and ONLY us!! i just looked at it and ignored it and then razzelet ba2a! sara and i kept on running away from it and it kept on flying after us lol!! after the bus came belsalaama we were like phewwwwww.... we ran into the bus and guess wat?? the butterfly went in with us :'( lol!
it was just annoying and our hero , a chubby lady, got it outta the bus...*

yalla gotta go! satty just made us dinner! gotta go check it out! mesh 3ayza 2a2olokom 3ala 2el ree7a!! nighty night everyone!!

TSO TSO TSO!

Love it when my fingers get dirty from drawing..

Warning Sign!!

A warning sign,
I missed the good part then I realized,
I started looking and the bubble burst.
I started looking for excuses.

Come on in,
I've gotta tell you what a state I'm in,
I've gotta tell you in my loudest tones,
That I started looking for a warning sign.

When the truth is,
I miss you.
Yeah the truth is,
That I miss you so.

RIP Mohamed!!!

again!!! a friend of mine passed away!! i know him since grade 7!!
i dunno y this is happening!!!
he and ammar were best friends!!! they were really close!!

i cant describe my shock and sadness!!
i cant breathe!

im shocked!! i dunno wat to do!
they were full of life and happiness!
cant believe they r gone!
cant believe they r not here anymore!
cant believe im never ever gonna see them again!

ammar on the 24th of February and mohamed on the 6th of August!
rabena yer7amhom!
:'(

Dad always tells me that life is like a bus; everyone gets down in their different destined stop!
love u daddy!

U GOTTA WATCH IT PEOPLE!

hey people last week i watched the "THE DARK KNIGHT"!
ooohh myy!! its just a great movie! I LOOOOVED THE JOCKER "Heath Ledger" :( ! he acted reeeaaal good! its one of the best movies i've ever watched!!!
just watch the movie and enjoy it ;)
salaamzzz!

Im happy i was born a muslim!

I remember those nights when my daddy used to stay up late with me just to teach me how math goes or science! i remember how harsh he used to with me just to get the best outta me!i remember how he used to drop me and pick me up when his time was soo tight! i remember the worried look he used to have whenever i got sick! ill never forget how holds my hand to cross the road!

And mommy! oooohhh!!! i remember the cute look she used to give me whenever she is happy! i remember the kisses she used to give me to encourage me to be the best! i remember the nights she tayed up late to make sure im not feeling bad! i remember the tears on her cheeks whenever i used to get sick! i remember her food (NOOOOOOOOOO.... NO FOOD IS LIKE HERS)!

And now! after eighteen years! they just didnt stop! they are the same! with the same feelings! with the same tenderness! with the same love! and its just the best! im happy i lived all these years just to feel thier love for me! just to stay in this warm home! i love them, i love them always and ill love them forever!

Every year on the 2nd of august a new door opens! that welcomes me in! that makes me closer to God! that makes me closer to meeting him! and i really love God more than anyone! coz i no he loves me too! and coz its so kind of him to make me live in this family! a family who knows who God is and love is and islam is! and last but not least IM HAPPY IM MUSLIM thats God's every year's gift to me!!